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Liam Lillico | University of Sunderland

Broadcast Journalism BA (Hons)

Tonight I Lived

Hey. I’ll be honest and say that I’m not entirely sure why I’m uploading this, other than the fact I can. It’s something I wrote on my phone, on the bus on my way home tonight. So, yeah.. read and hopefully you’ll like it.

∼ ∼

Living with a metal illness such as depression is challenging. In my opinion it’s very similar to the weather. One day you can feel sunny. The next day you can feel dull and stormy. The day after that one you can feel overcast, the day.. Ok, I think you get the weather analogy.

Yesterday was an average day at best. Nothing particularly bad happened on the emotions front, but nothing great did either. I did a radio show, bought my friend a cornetto, took my ‘crazy pill’ and went about the rest of my day. Mostly consisting of moving out of a flat.

Today however, I woke up after a night of barely sleeping and feeling drained, disgruntled and not wanting anything to do with humans. Flash forward two or three hours of having not moved from my bed at all, that I remember I told a friend from work that I’d go to their place for drinks later, as it was their birthday the day previous.

I was filled with dread about having to go and even contemplated bailing out with some half arsed attempt at an excuse. Leaving it till the very last minute to get out of bed and get ready (yes, I was still in bed at 4 in the afternoon. No I don’t care for judgements.) But alas, being the type of human that I am, I always aim to please those I like- I went. I got up, I got a shower, got ready and got my behind on a bus to go out into the world*. (*it was just Newcastle but that doesn’t sound quite as momentous.)

I went. I even stopped into a shop on the way to by alcohol, against the instructions on my prescription. Again I don’t care for your judgments. I arrived, mingled with the 80% of people I didn’t know, and the 20% I did. Tonight I chatted, tonight I smiled. Tonight I laughed and made other people laugh. Tonight I lived. I went and I’m glad I did.

I’m glad for a few different reasons. One being the fact I went to make a friend happy. Another is that I met new people. But the best is that I had fun. Which I wouldn’t have had, had I of let whatever it is in my head telling me not to go, win. I overruled it and loved it. On my bus home I got to see the sky at dusk- which is easily my favourite time of day. The sky was filled with colours other than one, bright and promised wonder for tomorrow, honest in it’s answers and promises. Tonight I lived.

∼ ∼

-Liam

Human. Student. Traveler. Blogger. Writer. Filmmaker. Radio Person, Mondays on Spark 12-2pm. Part time Super Hero.

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  • Name: Liam Lillico
  • Age: 19
  • Studying: Broadcast Journalism BA (Hons)
  • Hometown: Newcastle, UK
  • Ambitions: I've always wanted to do something in media. but there's so much to chose from... Right now, I want to be a script writer!
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